What Brené Brown can teach you about effective communication

Sep 2

I’m a bit late in finding out about Dr. Brené Brown, the U.S. research professor who has made a name for herself through studying and talking about vulnerability, shame, courage, and empathy over the past 20 years.

My partner Laura is reading Daring Greatly, one of Brown’s five #1 New York Times bestsellers. On our recent road trip we listened to Brown’s 2017 interview with Oprah on the Super Soul Sunday podcast.

The way Brown speaks about her work and life offers some textbook examples of how researchers (and others) can communicate in a way that is accessible and leaves a lasting impression on an audience. I connected with her focus on vulnerability and how it is fundamental for having “meaningful human experiences.”

There are four things to learn from Brown that are valuable when doing interviews, talks, and other types of public communication.

Tell stories

There is no better way to hook an audience than with an emotionally compelling story. Stories spark a sense of connection between the speaker and audience and help people remember what you’re telling them.

Brown is a masterful storyteller. Early in the interview she regales Oprah with a story about how she went through a difficult turning point after shooting to fame with her popular 2010 TEDx talk, The power of vulnerability (which now has over 54 million views).

Brown’s talk garnered much media attention. With that attention came criticism. She describes how she was “devastated” after reading through a string of negative comments from anonymous readers on news media articles about her (many criticising her appearance). Hitting a low point, she spent the day in her pyjamas watching British historical drama Downton Abbey and eating peanut butter to “numb herself.” To avoid the hurt she was feeling she spent time googling U.S. history around the Downton Abbey period and stumbled upon a quote by Theodore Roosevelt (which I have shortened for brevity).

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...”

This, she explains, changed her life. Reading Roosevelt’s words made her feel courageous. She decided not to worry about criticism from people who are not “in the arena” (e.g., anonymous internet commenters).

Brown’s story has traction. It helps us empathise with how she was feeling. It creates a strong mental picture. I could picture Brown sitting on the couch, feeling rattled from the nasty comments, and watching Downton Abbey reruns before landing on the Roosevelt quote and taking it to heart. Importantly, it communicates a strong take-home message: don’t let criticism get you down.

Speak in soundbites

Brown speaks like someone who has done loads of interviews. Listening with a reporter’s ear, I could picture the types of quotes a magazine editor would pull out and print large on the page.

Brown’s quotes communicate the key points about her research and also work to humanise her. They’re memorable. Some that stood out include:

“Courage is my value. And you can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.”
“Vulnerability is not just about fear and grief and disappointment -- it’s the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.”
“Perfectionism is not about striving for excellence... It’s a cognitive behavioural process, a way of thinking and feeling that says this: if I look perfect, do it perfect, work perfect, and live perfect, I can avoid or minimise shame, blame, and judgement.”

If you listen to the podcast you’ll notice how Oprah picks up on these, stopping to repeat them and help them resonate with the audience.

Like telling a good story, the ability to speak in soundbites takes practice. It also means knowing what you want to say before doing an interview.

Embrace vulnerability

Brown practices what she preaches. She speaks openly about her struggles and challenges. Not just as a researcher but as a human being.

She describes having a breakdown, which her therapist dubbed a “spiritual awakening.” This, she explains, did not seem appropriate to discuss as an academic. But it functioned as a turning point in her life and career and is something she has incorporated into her story.

In the Tedx talk that made her famous, Brown candidly puts herself out there, opening up about the breakdown and her challenges engaging with her own vulnerability with the help of a therapist. It’s something that millions of people around the world now know about and helps people connect with her and her message.

Effective communication requires embracing vulnerability. Image credit: Marco Bianchetti/Unsplash.

Be yourself

Brown is candid. She speaks from the heart, cracks jokes, and weaves anecdotes from her life and work into her communication. You get the sense that she is speaking from a place of authenticity.

Communicating with authenticity, particularly in a professional or academic setting, is especially challenging. Most of us have fears about how we will be perceived or how we ‘should’ behave. But it’s clear when a person is comfortable in themselves and what they have to say.

Authenticity is not something some people magically have while others don’t. As Brown notes, it’s “a practice and you choose it every day -- sometimes every hour of every day.”

There is a lot to be learned from Brown about choosing to be authentic in our communication efforts.

In my work as a science communication trainer, I’ve seen what can happen when researchers open up about who they are and what they care about. It’s powerful but not easy. It takes courage and a willingness to be vulnerable — both of which, as Brown demonstrates, help to build human connection.

If you enjoyed this post you might also like Why knowing yourself is key for effective communication.